A feeling of my very own (apnapan) with God

If you do a job, you will get wages according to your abilities. But if you go home to your mother, will she give you food according to your capabilities? She will give you food whether you work or don't work. In this manner, it is not that by "bhajan" (adoration and worship) a relationship is developed with Bhagwaan, and by not doing "bhajan" there will not be a relationship. If you accept that "mine-ness" , a feeling of my very own (apnapan) with God, that He Naath! I am your child only, then God will think, that however he is, he is mine very own child only, and God will have to take care of you. Therefore, "I am yours only, and only You are mine," this is a very straight-forward path.

The one desiring service will become unhappy. But one who serves remains ever happy, ever joyful. God says that this "jeev" is a part of me alone, but it attracts the body, senses, mind, intellect, that are established in Nature (Prakriti), and assumes them to be his own (Gita 15/7)! O' what business are you getting involved in? Look where you are from, and where you are getting entangled in ! Serve the world. Give happiness to others with your body, mind, wealth, intellect, abilities, rights, etc., but do not consider them to be your own. This feeling of my very own will not last. They are ours only for serving. All the things in this world that we assume to be our own, they alone bind us, and make us dependent. It is a false notion that this entire family is mine, this wealth is mine, but as such they are not! you have accepted them as yours. You have become dependent and subordinate to them. Neither will these stay with you, nor will you stay with them. Therefore with great enthusiasm and eagerness serve them, then the world will also be happy, and God too will be happy. You too remain happy and rejoice at all times. When there is no one available to serve, then the one desiring service will become unhappy. But one who serves remains ever happy, ever joyful.

In the beginning we may find chanting to be very bitter

A patient suffering from jaundice is advised to take sugarcane juice daily by the doctor. Due to the disease of jaundice the patient finds the sugarcane juice very bitter and feels like giving up. However having faith in the doctor that the sugarcane juice is hastening his recovery he patiently keeps on having it daily though in the beginning he practically does not realize that the sugarcane juice is hastening his recovery. As he continues to have the juice and his disease vanishes he starts relishing the taste of the sugarcane juice. Thus he realizes that the sugarcane juice is extremely sweet but he was not able to relish it before because of his disease.

Similarly we should have faith in the words of our guru and acharyas and continue to chant the Holy Names of Nityananda, Gauranga and the Hare Krishna Mahamantra with patience. The greatest disease is our desire for material enjoyment and the greatest medicine is chanting of Nityananda, Gauranga and the Hare Krishna Mahamantra daily. In the beginning we may find chanting to be very bitter but having faith in the words of our acharyas and guru we should continue chanting with patience knowing that the medicinal effect is taking place though in the beginning we don't realize it practically. As the disease of desire for material enjoyment vanishes we start relishing the Holy Names and with a higher taste of the Holy Names the lower taste of sense gratification is lost. The Holy Names are always sweet but it is the disease that is not allowing us to relish the Holy Names in the beginning which is realized later on as the disease is vanished and one relishes the Holy Names.

It is very difficult to get rid of Egotism

A person who has given up all desires for sense gratification, who lives free from desires, who has given up all sense of proprietorship and is devoid of false ego--he alone can attain real peace. B GITA 2 - 71


The bewildered spirit soul, under the influence of the three modes of material nature, thinks himself to be the doer of activities, which are in actuality carried out by nature. GITA 3 - 27

When we see something significant in our selves, it is a major flaw. If we see smartness in our self (such as - I know the Gita by heart, I have an in-depth understanding of the meaning and expressions of the Gita etc), or if we see spiritual goodness in us, (e.g. I worship God, I meditate, I chant devotional songs, I repeat His holy name etc), or anything great that we see in our self, it is all egotism. By whatever means we find something special in our self, that is egotism.

This egoism can come due to one's caste, color, creed, stage in life, knowledge, intelligence and many other forms of arrogance and conceit. It is different forms of pride that can lead to one's downfall. Thinking that we have - good qualities, desirable abilities, knowledge, smartness, articulation etc. is egotism. Such egotism coming from goodness is dangerous and difficult to get rid off.

With respect to "Egotism" it has been said in Ramayana -
"Sansrut mool soolprad naanan, sakal sauk daayak abhimaana." (Manasa 7:74:3)
All devilish tendencies, bad qualities, evil actions, operate under the umbrella of "Egotism." (arrogance, conceit).

The more effort we put into getting rid of this egotism, the more it becomes firmly established. The more ways that we find to wipe out the pride and arrogance, the solutions themselves will increase our egotism. It is truly very difficult to get rid of Egotism.

A spiritual aspirant must keep in mind that whatever good qualities he has, are not his own, rather they have come from God. Being a part of God, the Self (Atma) is flawless and without qualities. Therefore those great qualities should be understood as being God's, not ours. By believing and understanding with a firm resolve that these good qualities are all God's, there will be no egotism. This pride and arrogance cannot be rooted out by our self, it needs the grace of God. On this subject a spiritual aspirant must remain very vigilant.